The ‘Someday’ Trap: Why Waiting for the Right Time Is Costing You More Than You Think
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “As soon as things calm down at work…” or “When the kids are older, I’ll finally…”? Maybe you’ve thought, “Someday, I’ll make time for myself,” or “When life is less chaotic, I’ll focus on what I really want.” If these thoughts sound familiar, you’re not alone.
Sometimes life can feel like a holding pattern. We’re stuck in limbo, waiting for things to change. We shrug, shake our heads, and say “someday.”
I know this ‘someday’ mindset all too well. For years, my husband Chris and I had a little dream about owning a lake house “someday.” But we shelved that dream as we spent years trying to start a family.
In the middle of that emotional roller coaster came an unexpected opportunity to buy a lake house.
We used to say, "when we have kids." Every decision we made was filtered through that lens. Would a lake house make sense if we had a baby next year? Would we regret spending the money if we needed it for adoption fees or medical treatments?
We wrestled with these questions, but in the end, we realized we were putting happiness on hold—waiting for a future that wasn’t guaranteed.
So we stopped postponing joy and made the leap. We bought the cottage—not because it was the "right" time, but because we didn’t want to keep waiting for a future that might never come. And you know what? That little house became a sanctuary for us. It gave us a place to breathe, to rest, to reconnect. It didn’t mean we gave up on our dreams of a family, but it did mean we stopped putting our lives on hold.
Why We Fall for the “Someday” Trap
“Someday” thinking is sneaky. It feels like hope, but it’s often an excuse to stay in our comfort zone. Common phrases like these keep us stuck:
“As soon as work slows down, I’ll start prioritizing my health.”
“When the kids are older, I’ll have more time to pursue my passions.”
“When I’ve saved more money, I’ll invest in myself.”
These statements seem logical. But the truth is, work rarely slows down, parenting always comes with challenges, and there’s never a “perfect” time to focus on your needs and dreams.
This mindset also gives a false sense of control. By convincing ourselves that change will happen in the future, we avoid the discomfort and uncertainty of taking action now.
The problem is, “someday” often turns into “never.” Life keeps moving, demands keep piling up, and the perfect moment to start living the life you’ve dreamed of remains out of reach.
The Problem with Waiting for the “Right Time”
Here’s the hard truth: Someday is a moving target. There will always be a reason to wait. More money, more stability, fewer unknowns. But waiting doesn’t bring certainty—it just delays the life we truly want to live.
Life doesn’t pause to create the ideal conditions for change. Responsibilities ebb and flow, but they never truly go away. Waiting for the perfect moment to act can become a cycle of endless procrastination. Here’s why:
New demands arise. As soon as one project ends, another begins. There’s always something vying for your attention.
Priorities shift. What feels urgent today may not matter tomorrow, but if your deeper needs aren’t being met, dissatisfaction lingers.
The fear of failure. Sometimes “someday” is a shield against the vulnerability of trying and possibly falling short.
By waiting, you risk losing momentum and missing opportunities to live fully in the present. But waiting comes with its own set of costs.
What Waiting is Really Costing You
The toll of waiting for “someday” isn’t always obvious, but it’s real, and it’s higher than you might think.
We trade our peace, our happiness, our sense of fulfillment for the illusion of control. The problem is, no amount of waiting makes the leap feel safer. At some point, we have to decide that the risk of staying stuck is greater than the risk of moving forward.
Which of these costs are you paying as you wait for “someday?”
Lost Time: Time is the one resource we can’t get back. Every day we wait is a day we could have spent building something meaningful.
Missed Opportunities: How many experiences, relationships, or personal goals have been left unexplored because you’re waiting for the “perfect” time?
Emotional Toll: Staying in a situation that drains us—whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a lifestyle—comes at the cost of our well-being, and can leave us with feelings of resentment, frustration, or emptiness.
Physical Burnout: Overworking yourself while postponing self-care can have lasting effects on your health and well-being.
Regret: Looking back and realizing you spent years surviving instead of thriving can be a heavy burden.
How to Stop Waiting & Start Living
The good news? Shifting from “someday” to “today” doesn’t mean that you have to overhaul your entire life overnight. Small, intentional steps can create momentum and lead to meaningful change. Here’s how to begin:
Identify One Thing You’ve Been Putting Off. Reflect on an area of your life where you’ve been waiting for “someday.” Is it pursuing a passion, prioritizing self-care, or deepening a relationship? Choose one thing to focus on.
Take the First Step Today. Ask yourself, “What’s one small action I can take right now?” It might be scheduling a 10-minute walk, signing up for a class you’ve always wanted to take, or setting a boundary to protect your time.
Find support. It’s easier for “someday” to become “today” with someone to cheer us on and hold us accountable. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a coach like me, check in regularly with someone who can encourage you and help you through the challenges.
Celebrate Progress. Each small action is a victory. Celebrate your efforts and use them as fuel to keep going.
Shift Your Mindset. Instead of saying, “I’ll do it when...” start saying, “I’ll do it now.” Remind yourself that waiting doesn’t make things easier—it just delays the life you want to live.
Stop Postponing Joy—Your Life Starts Now
Living a life that feels full and meaningful doesn’t require perfect conditions. It starts with clarity about your needs and values and a commitment to taking small, consistent steps toward what matters most.
In a couple of weeks, doors are going to open for my signature program, Real Life Refresh. I know there’s a really good chance that you’re going to look it over, and think, “Sounds great. Maybe someday, after (fill in the thing you’re waiting around for).”
But I’m going to encourage you to be brave, like Barb, who shared this:
“By all practical measures, this was the wrong time for me to do this. But personally, this was the perfect time. I’m so glad I took the leap.”
For Barb, Real Life Refresh changed everything—because it changed her. Her external circumstances and challenges (and there are plenty of them!) didn’t change. But Barb changed inside. Refreshing her life and sense of self from the inside out changed how she responded to and handled the problems she was facing.
“I discovered a long-standing pattern in my life of being attentive to everyone else’s needs while diminishing my own. This process has realigned, refocused, and empowered me to speak up for my own needs. Best of all, this program has given me the time and guidance to put that vision in a real, livable plan of action going forward.”
Barb invested in herself to make her “someday” happen “today.” And you can too. If you’re feeling that nudge, I’d love for you to join us.
Take a moment to imagine your future self. What would “future-you” thank you for starting today? What dreams, goals, or changes would you be grateful you didn’t wait for? The path to a more fulfilling life doesn’t begin “someday.” It starts right here, right now.
Ready to Begin?
If you’re ready to stop waiting and start living, the Needs & Values Assessment is a great first step. It’s designed to help you get clarity on what truly matters to you and how to align your life with those priorities. You don’t have to wait for “someday”—you can begin creating a life you love today.
Life won’t wait. The question is—will you?
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