What’s in Your Jar of Life?

If focus is a flashlight, what parts of your life are lit?

Some months ago, I listened to an episode of Brene Brown’s “Dare to Lead” podcast in which she interviewed Dr. Amishi Jha, a neuroscientist and the author of the best-seller Peak Mind.  Her work is about attention, focus, concentration, and mindfulness and specifically how mindfulness can change our levels of attention.

Focus is a Flashlight

I loved what Dr. Jha had to say about mindfulness practices, but what has stayed with me most since I heard it is her analogy about how our brain pays attention:  “Focus is like a flashlight.”

Dr. Jha’s premise is that the parts of our brain that help us to focus and concentrate are like the narrow beam of a flashlight – they can only be directed at one small area at a time.  While Dr. Jha has lots to say about what this means for our attention span, the idea of multi-tasking (spoiler: it’s a myth), and how we best concentrate on tasks, I’ve realized that the analogy can be applied more broadly in our lives. 

Beyond just considering how we can better focus on an individual task, I think the analogy holds when we consider our lives-at-large.  When I try to make too many areas of my life a priority, I end up giving poor attention to all of them, and I don’t make progress.  It’s like trying to use a flashlight to light up a whole room.  I’d end up just moving the flashlight beam around the whole room, not giving focused light to any one area.  The light – just like my attention and time – would be diffused and scattered.  The old adage is true:  If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. 

The Jar of Life

One way I’ve found clarity and direction in life is to remember the Jar of Life and put it into practice in my life. 

Maybe you’ve seen or heard the story about the teacher who brought a large jar, some big rocks, small pebbles, sand, and water to class to illustrate an important life lesson about priorities.  If you haven’t, take 2 ½ minutes to watch this – it’s worth it.  (And heck, even if you have seen this before, watch it again.  Your life has changed since you last saw it, and you’ll likely see something different or appreciate the reminder.)

Our lives are the jar, and the big rocks (or golf balls in the video referenced above) are called Areas of Focus.  If we want to lead our lives, and not just live them, we need to put those rocks in first and prioritize those parts of our lives.  If we don’t make intentional efforts to concentrate on those areas, our focus will be fractured among lots of other, less important things that are competing for our attention.

My life just works better when I’ve identifed my Areas of Focus and organized my life around them.  Areas of Focus are the biggest priorities of my life, the things that are most meaningful to me.

Identifying Your Areas of Focus

My hunch is that you have a good idea of your priorities… but when was the last time you actually considered that question and wrote some things down?

I suggest starting with a mind map.  (Need a tutorial?)

In the center of a blank sheet of paper, write your name, or the words “my life.”  Then let the brainstorming begin.  Write down anything that comes to mind that’s important to your life. 

Remember that there are no right or wrong words or phrases to add to your mind map.  It’s your life, so it needs to reflect your priorities. 

If you get stuck, feel free to use this list to get you started (or going again).   You’re not limited to these words, and if you have a similar word that resonates with you more, use your word. 

 It's also worth noting that Areas of Focus aren’t static.  Areas of life that might have been important in years past may no longer be important.  Something new might be coming up in your life that is begging for some time in the flashlight.  So as you work with your mind map, be sure that it reflects a current picture of what’s important in your life now.

After a few minutes, pause and take a look.  What stands out to you?  What themes emerge?  What things might be grouped together?  What things are so important that they need to stand alone? 

From the mind map, select the things that are most important in your life.  Again, what makes the list is entirely your choice, but aim for no more than seven.  Usually having 5-7 Areas of Focus works well.  If you have fewer, that’s ok too.  You know your life best, and you know what needs your attention in order for you to be leading your life well.

How do you want to live?

Once you’ve identified your Areas of Focus, you’ve got a good framework for your life and schedule.  Even just naming those areas can help you say yes to what’s important and say no to what might be a distraction.  These areas can guide your weekly planning and help you identify important goals.

But if you really want to use these Areas of Focus to lead your life, I encourage you to write an “I am” statement for each area.  An “I am” statement is a future-focused, present-tense sentence that describes how you’d like to be living in that Area of Focus in the next 1-2 years.  It describes your ideal future but uses present tense verbs.  No “I will be…” or “I want to…” for these sentences.  You’ll use “I am…” or “I have…” or other present tense verbs. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re not living that reality now.  Putting those future ideals into writing can give you focus, motivation, and accountability to create that desired outcome.  Stating your intention in a positive manner and in the present tense can help you better envision your future and guide your day-to-day decision-making.

What do you think?

How will naming Areas of Focus impact how you choose where to invest your time and energy?

What becomes possible for you if you focus on those areas?

How does it feel to write “I am” statements about your desired future in those areas?

How might those statements help you lead your life?

I’d love to continue the conversation, so send me an email or leaving a comment!