How Much Should Callings Overlap?

I hope you’re not sick of hearing me talk about life callings yet.  There’s one more piece to this topic that I think is worth exploring:  How much should our responses to our callings overlap?

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that this model of calling invites us to think about our vocation as a set of three distinct (yet often interrelated) callings:  the calls of faith, relationship, and work.  And I suggested that we envision these callings as circles that can overlap, like a Venn diagram.

So what does your “life calling diagram” look like? 

Are the circles overlapping? 

By how much – a tiny bit, a mid-sized amount, or a lot? 

Which ones overlap?  All three, or just two out of three?

Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer – just your answer. 

And truthfully, no matter how your “life calling diagram” looks, the most important questions are:  How is that working for you?  How satisfied are you with that overlap?

Last week, I mentioned that considering what season you’re experiencing in each calling can help you identify ways in which you might want to grow.  This week I’m inviting you to specifically think about the ways in which your callings might overlap, and what that might mean for you in terms of your personal development.

Very little overlap?

Maybe when you imagine your “life calling diagram” you see three very separate (or mostly separate) circles.  What might that mean?

It likely means that your life is fairly compartmentalized.  Maybe you see your sense of faith and how you live out your relationship with the divine as very personal, or very removed from your everyday activities (work, time with family and friends, etc.).  Perhaps you view your work as simply a way to pay the bills, a means to the end of providing for yourself and your family.  It’s a job you do, but you don’t see it reflecting your spiritual values and it’s not connected with the people for whom you care most.  And if this describes your life, then it’s likely that those who are most important to you are not really sharing in your faith life or your work life. 

Remember, this isn’t “bad” or “wrong.”  It’s certainly the way that some people move through life.  Again, the key question is “How is that working for you?” 

What are the benefits of living these callings in very separate ways?  It might be helpful to have a separation between work and important relationships.  Maybe this kind of compartmentalization helps you deepen and strengthen your personal response to the call of faith.

But how might this lack of overlap not serve you well?  Maybe the lack of overlap between these callings leaves you feeling a bit isolated in one or more of the areas.  Sometimes a compartmentalized life can feel a little disjointed, and we seek greater integration and wholeness.

If you’re noticing a lack of overlap (between all three callings, or just two of them), it might be worthwhile to ask yourself how that helps you and how hinders you from feeling truly fulfilled in life.

Lots of overlap?

On the flip side, maybe you see lots of overlap when you consider your “life calling diagram.”  Again, that’s not good or bad, right or wrong.  This is simply an invitation to notice and be curious about what that means for your life.

I’ll be honest to admit that this was me for a long time.  I worked in church ministry for over 20 years.  I’d come to that field because I’d “grown up” in ministry programs, and I was called into that ministry by those who’d gone before me and become close friends.  Because ministry is so highly relational, I developed close friendships with co-workers and the other ministry leaders we served.  So, yeah, faith, work, and relationships were all highly overlapped. 

In lots of ways, I loved that.  I loved that I shared strong common bonds of faith and ministry with so many close friends, and I loved that I worked with friends.  I loved that my work mattered to me on a spiritual level, and often helped me grow in my relationship with God.  Integration has always been important to me, and I need that in my life.

Too much overlap?

I’ll never forget something that Mike Carotta said once when he was presenting this model of calling.  (You might remember that the model of these three callings came from Catherine and Mike Carotta in their work, Sustaining the Spirit.)  Mike’s caution:  “For those of us in ministry, we need to recognize that sometimes we answer the call of faith with the call of work.”

Ouch.

Yep.  Guilty.  My spiritual director had once asked me what my relationship with God would be like if I was a bread-baker, a gardener, a banker… any other profession besides ministry.  I honestly didn’t even understand the question.  Mike’s comment helped me to understand that I had so over-identified with the call of work that I couldn’t even see the call of faith as a separate and distinct call in my life. 

Separating the circles

The good news was that this comment, and having the language of this model, planted a seed in me, a seed that God tended and nurtured.  That seed was the desire to deepen and strengthen my relationship with God as “just Kathy” (not “Kathy the minister”).  It took time, patience, and lots of God’s grace, but I gradually was able to hear the call of faith in my life, to wrestle with the key question of “How am I to live?” and to respond to it with an honest and humble understanding that I live as a beloved child of God – regardless of what line of work I’m in.

I still desire a good amount of overlap between my work and my faith.  But understanding that they are distinct and that I answer them differently has freed me from believing that I needed to work “in church ministry,” it’s allowed me to consider and choose a new path that helps me share my gifts even more, and it helps me live a more balanced and fulfilled life. 

Having some separation between work and faith also helped me when I lost my ministry job.  While that disruption shook up some things in my spiritual life, it did not crush it because there were parts of my spiritual life that I’d already separated from my work. 

I’m betting that it’s not just ministry people who struggle with too much overlap.  I think there can be lots of reasons that people experience a high degree of overlap between their spiritual life, relationships, and/or work.  If you’re noticing a lot of overlap (between all three callings, or just two of them), it might be worthwhile to ask yourself how that helps you, and how hinders you, from feeling truly fulfilled in life.  

Conclusion

Whether you’ve got a lot of overlap or hardly any, it’s valuable to consider the impact that has on your life. 

• What are the places of emptiness that you long to have filled? 

• What are the places of constriction where you long for freedom? 

• What are the areas you’d like to grow or expand? 

• What are the areas from which you’d like to withdraw?

With those answers in hand, you can work on a plan for growth that will help you move into the fulfillment you’re looking for when it comes to authentically living your callings.  And if you could use some support, encouragement, and good questions along the way, I’m here for you!

In the meantime, let me know what you think about this.  What’s hitting home for you?  What are you noticing about your circles and the way you’re living your callings?  Feel free to continue the conversation by sending an email or leaving a comment!