How Much Does it Hurt?
A Tale of Two Knees
Imagine that you are having some knee pain. Well, not “pain” really. Just some discomfort, some of the time. It’s not a big problem; you just start avoiding the stairs unless necessary, and you cut back on how far or how long you walk or stand. Maybe you resign yourself to limping a little.
Now imagine that your other knee flares up one day: intense pain, swollen, hot to the touch, can’t bear much weight.
Which knee would you see your doctor about?
Yep, the one that’s in acute pain. Why? It’s urgent.
But what if the diagnosis is fairly benign, and with rest and some ibuprofen, you’ll be right as rain in a week or two? And what if the knee that you didn’t see the doctor about is slowly wearing down its cartilage?
Which one’s more important to address?
What’s your knee pain?
OK, since I’m not a medical professional, I’m going to set that analogy aside before I say something inaccurate. As you may have guessed, this blog is not about knees and orthopedic exams.
It’s about your life.
What are the “knee pains” that you’re experiencing in life?
What are the acute, painful in-your-face challenges?
And what are the dull aches in your mind, your heart, or your soul that you try to ignore but secretly worry about?
Where are you limping in life?
Maybe this isn’t you, but here are some things I’ve heard that describe the dull aches and the limping:
“How’s my ______ (job, relationship, etc.)? Oh – it’s… fine.”
“My life has changed a lot. I’m not sure who I am anymore.”
“My life is not my own.”
“I know I could be doing more to prioritize myself and take care of myself, but I’m too tired and don’t have the motivation.”
“I keep feeling there’s more for me, but I have no idea what that is.”
Now I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t address the “acute pains” of your life. But for right now, I’d like to focus on the dull aches, the limping, and maybe even the chronic issues that are the cause of some of the acute pains.
Why? Because in a world that promotes “urgency addiction,” it’s easy to ignore things that are important, but not urgent. And I’d like to propose that the “dull aches” of our lives are often point to something important in our lives that needs to be addressed for us to live a more purposeful, fulfilling life.
The costs and the payoff
I know it can be easy to ignore the dull aches, but we pay a price just the same. What are the costs of not addressing the dull aches in your life?
What problems is the limping creating?
How satisfying are your relationships?
How fulfilling is your job?
How well do you take care of yourself?
Are you thriving, or just surviving?
What are the strongest emotions you feel on a typical day?
What are all the things you are not doing or not experiencing because of that dull ache?
On the flip side, what might be the payoffs if you did address the dull aches and find ways to ease them?
What could your marriage or family life be like?
What would happen to you professionally?
How would your “everyday” feel?
What dreams or desires might move within reach?
What will it take?
What would it take for you to address the chronic, dull ache?
For many people, the response is “It would have to get a lot worse.” Meaning, it would have to become urgent, acute pain.
But is that really what you want? If you felt free and capable to choose, would you choose the path of greater, more intense pain?
Probably not.
I think the challenge is that sometimes we don’t feel free or capable.
The lack of freedom might stem from a full plate of responsibilities. To that, I’ll ask, “How well are you going to carry that full plate when your knee suddenly gives out?”
The lack of freedom might stem from the gravitational pull of the status quo. When things are “more-or-less comfortable,” it’s hard to fight inertia and choose change. To that, I’ll offer the reminder that you have a choice to exist in life or to lead your life. You always have the power to choose.
You might not feel capable because you know how hard it is to change behavior or patterns. Hard, but not impossible. Challenging, but usually worthwhile.
You might not feel capable because you have no idea what can be done to fix the problem and aren’t sure who to call or where to start looking. <ahem> I’m here for you, friend.
Here’s a first step
I’m not going to promise you a miracle cure. But I’m not going to just pat your shoulder and smile sympathetically either.
Some strategies can help you get started. There are tools you can use to begin to alleviate the dull ache.
And I’m going to share them with you, LIVE.
In just a few days, I’m offering a FREE, live Masterclass where we’re calling out the dull aches of life and allowing ourselves to imagine a life free of those pains. Join me for “Saying No to the Status Quo: Why ‘Good Enough’ Isn’t Good Enough for You (and How to Make it Better!).
I promise that it’s practical.
I promise that you’ll get tons of value.
I promise that you’ll leave feeling less alone and less hopeless than you’ve been feeling (but don’t admit to anyone, maybe including yourself).
The only catch? It’s just for women. (Sorry, guys.) I know that men struggle with the dull ache of the status quo too. But it’s particularly challenging for women – I know, I’ve been there – and sometimes it’s helpful to talk and work this through with other women.
I know that deep down, you’re thinking that this sounds interesting. But you’re also coming up with a bunch of (flimsy) reasons to not register. Ignore those. They’re the voices of the status quo, of your fears, of your uncertainties. Those are the same voices that are keeping you stuck in ‘good enough.’ Listen to the other voices – the ones that are hopeful, curious, and positive – and click here to register.
A Tale of Two Leighs
I want to remind you that you don’t have to resign yourself to limping in life for the rest of your life, no matter how old you are.
I recently worked with Leigh, a woman who’s 70 years young – and she was not content with ‘good enough’ as she approached retirement. Here’s how she describes the ways she was “limping in life:”
“I was overwhelmed by all the roles I was playing in life, especially in my parish’s ministry where I’d become the person that everyone called on to do whatever needed to be done. I was on the verge of burnout, and I knew I needed to identify my roles more clearly.”
Leigh made a courageous choice and said “no” to her status quo. She enlisted my help. I gave her some tools, a process, and some good questions. She got right to work and addressed the pain:
“I’ve gone from stuck to living intentionally. I clarified my priorities and roles, but I also recognized my pattern of saying “yes” to others too often, usually to the detriment of my own genuine needs. Now, with the confidence and tools to change that pattern, I’m making better decisions about who and what to prioritize and how to spend my time.”
Now Limping Leigh has become Lively Leigh, as she’s running toward her future with purpose and vigor.
“I’ve taken a deep look at who I am, what I believe and value, and how I’m living my everyday life, and I’m making brave choices to be who I am and who I believe God is calling me to be! I’ve even found direction about what I want to do with the next phase of my life. I’m going to fully retire from my professional work so that I can focus my time on reading, studying, and writing on the topics that mean the most to me.”
What will you choose?
At some point, ‘good enough’ isn’t good enough anymore. The questions for you are:
How much does it hurt?
How much longer do you want to keep walking around with that pain?
If you weren’t limping, what would you be able to do, and who would you be able to serve and bless?
You see, your choice to settle for ‘good enough’ doesn’t just hurt you. It harms all those who need the gifts and goodness that only you can bring them.
They need you to say no to the status quo and say yes to this Masterclass.
I’ll see you there!
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