“I don’t know… I’m just weird like that.” It was this comment from a client - who had just been describing how she preferred to process information - that prompted me to respond, “Not weird - just wired.” It was a lightbulb moment.

Weird has such a negative connotation. Yes, it can be used to describe something good (like unique or special), but more often it’s a negative judgment. We all want to be seen as unique or special, but most of us don’t want to be labeled as “weird.” And most troubling of all, while we fear that label from others, it’s one that we often apply to ourselves. “I’m just weird like that.”

What if we stopped seeing ourselves as “weird like that,” and began to look at ourselves as “wired like that?” What would change in our self-talk, our self-esteem, our self-confidence if we could claim the ways we’re wired?

What do I mean by wired? For starters, our talents - the ways we’re naturally inclined to think, feel and behave. As a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, I have come to see how powerfully the CliftonStrengths® assessment names our talents - the things we “can’t help but” do, think, or feel. (Like the client I mentioned earlier, who’s Intellection® theme means that she needs more time - quiet and alone - to deeply process events and information.) Similarly, as a REALIFE Process Facilitator, I’ve come to see how deeply embedded our needs and values are within us. Our genuine needs are the things we each must do or have to feel safe, grounded, and satisfied and to be able to live and thrive. Our values are the things that are important to us and how we express ourselves. Each of us have different talents, unique needs, and distinct values. We’re each wired differently.

The more we become aware of our needs, our values, our talents, the more we can work toward accepting ourselves. Accepting this wiring - not as “something I need to work around” but as “something that is a unique strength of mine” - helps me let go of self-consciousness, shame, guilt and all that other icky stuff that comes along with thinking that I am “less than” or weird. It allows me to begin to really value who I am and what I can contribute. And when I value my uniqueness, I’m better able to advocate for myself. I can speak up when my needs aren’t being met, when my values are being threatened, when my talents aren’t being utilized. The more I lean into my wiring instead of dismissing it, the more I increase my wellbeing and my ability to perform with excellence.

If I can begin to see myself as “wired, not weird,” my perspective on myself changes. But what about my perspective toward others? In my experience, that changes, too. When I recognize that my wiring is mine, and others are wired differently, it opens me to more compassion, more understanding, more empathy. Instead of getting frustrated with others who seem to think, feel, and behave so differently from me, I am reminded that they see and experience the world differently because their wiring is different. They may have different needs. Different core values. Different talents. Just as I grow in accepting myself, I grow in my acceptance of others, too. And from there, I can move toward a place of genuinely valuing those differences and seeing them as strengths and assets.

I’ve always been a fan of word games, and anagrams are my favorite. It’s amazing to me how rearranging these few letters brings such a different perspective and different meaning. It’s a reminder to me that seeing myself as “wired, not weird” might not require an overhaul of my whole life. Maybe I just need to rearrange a few things in my life (limiting beliefs, an awareness of my needs, naming my strengths) to gain a whole new outlook.

Not sure where to start in rearranging your letters? Check out my coaching packages. I’d love to help you get from “weird” to “wired” to “awesome.”