What IS Coaching, exactly?

One of the questions I am frequently asked is “What is coaching, exactly?”  It’s a great question!

And given how many different “helping modalities” exist in today’s world, it’s an important question.  Consulting, counseling or therapy, mentoring and coaching all share some common elements, but each is distinct and best suited for certain situations.

Why is it important to understand the differences?

At any particular time in our lives, most of us will realize that we need some help – whether in our personal or professional lives – to navigate the journey.

But what kind of help do we need?

When we know more about what each mode of helping is uniquely suited to, we’ll be able to better identify what we might need in each phase of our lives.

If you’re ever feeling stuck and considering getting some help, this blog can help you figure out what kind of help you need!

Coaching defined

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

It’s a short definition, but it incorporates so many important elements:

Partnering:  Coaching is a partnership between the client and coach.  The power in the relationship is equal and shared.  A good coach does not tell their client what to do, what direction to go, or what choice to make.  Decisions about what to discuss and how to go about it are made together.  If coaching is like a road trip, the coach is not in the driver’s seat, nor is the coach the GPS.  The coach is in the passenger seat, tuning the radio.  

Thought-provoking:  Coaching is – at its heart – a thinking process.  A coach’s job is to help their clients think.  Not just to help their clients talk.  There is a big difference between listening to a client tell about things that have happened to them or share thoughts that they’ve had before and helping a client think new thoughts or come to new awareness.  Coaching is about thinking new thoughts and coming to new awareness together. 

Creative:  Coaching is a process of creation.  A coach and client co-create the relationship, each conversation, and the action plan.  Coaching is not “listening and assigning homework.”  Coaching harnesses positive energy and opens up unconventional ideas and choices.  Coaching involves developing and exploring new insights together, and discerning meaning and potential action from those insights.  

Maximize potential:  Coaching works from a positive framework and is future-focused.  A coach always remembers that their client is whole, creative, and resourceful.  More importantly, good coaching helps the client see themselves as whole, creative, and resourceful.  Through coaching, clients come to recognize and access potential within themselves and they are able to create their own solutions and paths forward.

Coaching vs. Therapy

There are many differences between coaching and counseling, including the preparation and credentialing for each profession.  However, I have found three key distinctions particularly helpful when differentiating between these two modes of helping.

Time orientation:  Past vs. future:  Counseling is often retrospective, inviting clients to look back at past experiences and past emotions to explore the impact those have had on their present lives.  Coaching is prospective (or future-focused) and invites a client to look forward to envision their future selves.

Purpose:  understanding vs. goal-directed:  Related to the focus on a client’s past, a counselor will tend to help a client understand what is wrong so that they can heal or recover.  The focus is on “why” things are the way they are.  A coach, on the other hand, asks “what could be and how will we get there?”  Coaches bring a goal-orientation that helps clients develop solutions and achieve specific desired outcomes.

Outcome:  functioning vs. excellence:  Counselors work with clients who are experiencing a decreased level of individual functioning (often due to illness, dysfunction, or trauma) so that they can function at a healthy level.  As we saw earlier when exploring the definition of coaching, coaches help clients maximize their personal and professional potential.  Coaching often helps a person move from “functioning” to “excellence.”

While coaching can be (and often is) therapeutic, it is not therapy, and good coaches refer clients who need more significant psychological or emotional support to a qualified therapist.  

Coaching vs. Consulting

When you hear the word “consulting” you might immediately imagine a corporate or organizational setting.  However, the definition of consultant has less to do with the setting and more to do with what that person is doing.  These three distinctions illustrate this:

Area of Expertise:  A consultant needs to be an expert in the industry or the problem of the client.  A coach needs to be an expert in the process of coaching.  A consultant is paid for industry experience and expert guidance, whereas a coach’s value comes from their ability to help a client expand their self-awareness and access their own creativity and resourcefulness.  While many people seek a coach who has a background in their own industry, a good coach does not need to be an expert in the client’s industry.

Focus on “what” vs. “who:”  A consultant focuses on the “what” – the problem to be solved or the goal to be achieved (and often the “how” – the methods and strategies used to solve it).  A coach’s focus is always the “who” – the person they are working with – and who that person is being as they face their challenges and work toward their goals.

Source of answers:  Consultants provide answers in the proven methods and strategies they recommend (or even at times are paid to implement).  Coaches help clients to explore the right questions and develop their own answers.  Coaches know that the best plan for each client is the one that the client creates.

A warning:  Many people who use the title of “coach” or “coaching” are actually consultants.  This is as true with “life coaches” as it is with “business coaches.”  Many use the title of coach, but they function as consultants.  These professionals want to help you with your life, your career, or your business, but their way of “helping” is giving advice, suggesting or telling you what to do, or guiding you with a plan.  

True coaching leverages active listening and powerful questions to help you discover your own answers and your own best plan of action.  

This does not diminish the value of consultants!  There are times when we need a professional with a plan to help us achieve a goal.  However, those in need of support or help should be clear about their needs so that they can find the type of help that will best address those needs.

Coaching vs. Mentoring

Two other terms that are often used interchangeably are coaching and mentoring.  Again, there are a few differences that distinguish these roles.

Required experience:  Mentors typically have experience in the career, industry, or life experience in which a person is seeking help.  As we’ve seen above, good coaching is not based on experience in the specifics of the “what.”  Coaches are experienced in the dynamics and process of coaching.

Role:  A mentor is a person who is “ahead on the path,” who shares experiences, contacts, pitfalls, advice, and suggestions to guide a person’s development.  A coach’s role is to co-create a process of change with the client so that the client can achieve their goals. 

Informal vs formal:  Mentoring is typically an informal role.  Even in organizations that have a “formal mentoring program,” the role is typically less structured and more informal.  By contrast, coaching is a formal relationship and typically follows a structured process.

My own experience

At different times in my life, I’ve experienced – and benefitted from – each of these helping modalities.  

Therapy has helped me understand the origin of some of my patterns, heal some past wounds, and deal with anxiety.

I’ve had mentors who offered support and guidance that was indispensable for my growth and success in my previous profession.  Now I have several mentors who are helping me navigate my new profession of coaching as well as entrepreneurship.

I’ve benefitted from the expertise of “consultants,” although none have used that title for themselves.  In fact, I just started a program with a “business coach” that features “group coaching” – but I know that it’s really Q&A where the “coach” will be acting as a consultant.  And she should.  She’s the expert on the particular business strategy I want to learn.  I have a goal, but I don’t know how to get there, so I’m happy to take her direction.

I have coaches who give me time and space to think and who help me achieve goals and keep my life purposeful and productive.  I will also use those coaches to help me process the work I’ll do with consultants so that I can ensure I’m taking action that’s aligned with my needs, values, and strengths – not just the action recommended by an “expert.”  

Of course, as a coach, I have a deep appreciation for the power of coaching, but I have respect for each helping modality and recommend any of them, depending on a person’s needs.

To that end, if you’re thinking that coaching might meet your needs now (or in the future), let’s have a chat to see if I’m the right “helper” and if now’s the right time!

Your take?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

What do you now understand better about these helping modalities?

What would you add to the distinctions between coaching, therapy, consulting, and mentoring?  

Which mode(s) have you found to be helpful?  In what ways did they help?

Send me an email and let’s keep the conversation going!

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