A Good Mystery

April 4, 2024 Kathy Goller

I love a good mystery. Most of my favorite books, movies and TV shows are steeped in mystery.

And this theme is true in my faith life as well. One of my favorite aspects of Christian faith is our understanding of the Paschal mystery.

What is the Paschal mystery? Unlike books and movies, it’s not a classic whodunnit. It’s God’s plan of salvation as fulfilled in the Passion (suffering and crucifixion), death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ.

I could say more to address questions about what the words “Paschal” and “mystery” mean in this context, but that’s best left to the theologians and catechists. Or a Google search.

The question I’d rather explore is “What does the Paschal mystery mean for us?” Specifically. You and me. In 2024.

Because it does have meaning – deep meaning – and it shows up in our everyday lives. Anytime death transforms into new life, we are seeing a sign of the Paschal mystery.

And of course, by “death” I’m not only referring to physical death. We experience many “deaths” in our lives, such as:

Losing a job
Losing a loved one
Ending of a relationship
Ending of a phase of life
Stepping out of our comfort zone
Leaving a beloved home (city or building)
Diminishment of our health
Death of a certain idea or belief

All of these experiences are painful and real. However, they can become paschal deaths if they end one kind of life and open us to receive a deeper and richer form of life.

In The Holy Longing, Fr. Ronald Rohlheiser describes the Paschal mystery as follows:

Good Friday… “the loss of life – real death”
Easter Sunday… “the reception of new life”
The Forty Days… “a time for readjustment to the new and for grieving the old”
Ascension.. “letting go of the old and letting it bless you, the refusal to cling”
Pentecost… “the reception of new spirit for the new life that one is already living”

The only edit I’d make would be to insert Holy Saturday between the first two movements. The reception of new life doesn’t always come right away. There is usually some time in the tomb, waiting in darkness, unsure whether new life will come.

Aside from that minor addition, I love his description – and for those who are intrigued, I highly recommend the book. It’s become a classic in Christian spirituality, and he describes this cycle in depth with powerful stories.

Speaking of stories, would a story help to illustrate this?

My story

I’ve lived the cycle of the Paschal mystery multiple times in my life – in small ways and profound ways. But it seems fitting now to share the story of how the Paschal mystery brought me here, with you, in this blog.

From the time I was a young adult until my mid-40s, I worked for the Catholic Church in diocesan ministry. If I add the years I spent as a volunteer throughout high school and college, we’d approach close to 30 years of my life dedicated to church ministry.

Then, just as the COVID-19 pandemic was beginning, our entire department was eliminated and I lost my job.

It was a “death” on many levels: not only loss of job but loss of colleagues and friends, loss of rhythms and routines in my life, loss of income, and loss of trust in church leadership, to name just a few.

During my healing process, I did an activity that encouraged me to list every single thing I could that I’d lost in that change. I named profound things – like losing a sense of identity – and mundane things that were no less painful – like losing “my” phone number (that I can still repeat today).

These were real deaths. They were endings to one kind of life. These losses were a Good Friday for me.

And “Holy Saturday” lasted over 2 years. For me it was a time of grieving, anger, and disappointment. It was a time of waiting, questioning, and searching. It was a time of experimenting, growing, and learning.

My “Holy Saturday” included spending time coordinating caregivers for my elderly great-aunt until she passed. It included time as a high school religion teacher. It included learning about strengths and coaching and the Enneagram. Like the Israelites after their Exodus from slavery in Egypt, I was free… but wandering.

But my “Easter Sunday” dawned on May 23, 2022 – the day I filed for an LLC and EIN for Teal Horizon Coaching. I’d been working on the business and doing some of the work in the business before that date, but those milestones symbolize “the reception of new (professional) life” for me.

And the journey continues…

I’m currently somewhere in the midst of the Forty Days, Ascension and Pentecost. I think these phases are best seen in retrospect, so check back with me in a couple of years and I’ll be able to pinpoint where I am now more clearly.

I’ve been living this “new life” as an entrepreneur and a coach for almost two years. It has definitely been a time of readjusting to the new and more grieving of the old.

And I think something has been shifting recently. I sense “Ascension” in the way that Fr. Rohlheiser describes it: “Letting go of the old and letting it bless you, the refusal to cling.” The pain of the losses has greatly subsided. I’m slowly letting go of the anger and disappointment. I’m seeing the gifts in my experience more clearly and experiencing more gratitude for what once was.

I’m excited to think that Pentecost has only begun and has more to bring to my life! I certainly already sense some of the new spirit that God blessed me with during this transition; others have affirmed the joy they see and experience in me. But I believe that more is yet to come. I’m still very new at this life as an entrepreneur, and it’s encouraging to remember that truly “becoming” something new takes longer than the time it takes to design and print a new business card.

So what does it mean?

For me, the Paschal mystery is what gives life so much of its deepest meaning.

When facing our “deaths,” it’s not easy to “offer it up” and believe that “God is good.” But as we are tested and tried, and supported along the way, our faith is strengthened.

Trusting in the Paschal mystery doesn’t take away the real, and sometimes brutal, pain of the deaths we experience. But it offers hope that helps us to stumble on and continue to believe there is something good yet to come.

It isn’t easy in the midst of suffering to remember or believe that we are loved. But then we remember that this paschal cycle is rooted in Jesus’ sacrifice, which was prompted by his unconditional love for us. He loved us enough to defeat real deaths and give us the gift of new life.

Faith. Hope. Love. Few things bring more meaning to our lives than these.

What’s your story?

Your turn. How has the Paschal mystery played out in your life?

If you’re looking for some questions to help you deeply reflect during these 50 days of Easter, perhaps these can guide you:

What’s a significant “death” or loss that you’ve experienced?
What was your “Holy Saturday” (time of waiting) like?
What new life have you received?
What readjustments have you needed to make and how have you allowed yourself to grieve the old?
How have you let go? How has the old blessed you?
What new spirit do you feel that empowers your new life?

And if you’re still in the midst of a Good Friday or Holy Saturday moment, I hope you’ll remember that you’re not alone and that there is an Easter Sunday to come… someday. Know that I’m holding you in prayer as you watch and wait for that new life.

If you’re willing to share some of your story with me, I’d welcome the chance to hear it and honor it with you. Email me!

Like this blog?