Last week, at a women’s networking event I was attending, the emcee asked the group of about 80 professional women, “How many of you feel behind all the time – stressed, overwhelmed, and running all the time just to keep up?”  Most hands in the room went up.  Mine did not.

It was a big moment of realization for me.  I knew that she was expecting everyone to agree and commiserate, and most did.  And while I could empathize and relate to that experience, I realized that currently I’m not feeling that way.  And I haven’t been for a little while.  Sure, I have moments of overwhelm.  Yes, there are things that don’t get done each week that get bumped to next week (or sometimes next month, next quarter, or never).  But my life no longer feels chaotic or out of control.  It’s ordered, aligned, and coherent.  Here’s why:

I’ve decided that God and I own my life, and we get to be the primary deciders of what that life should look like.  And since “what life looks like” is usually closely related to what’s on my calendar, I’m choosing to practice self-leadership and take responsibility for my time and my calendar. 

In my last blog, I mentioned that the REALIFE Process® has provided a helpful framework for my life and my approach to time management.  Here’s a peek behind the curtain of that process so that maybe you, too, can bring a bit more purposeful living to your days.  There’s a lot more to the complete REALIFE Process than just what you’ll read here, but this is a quick summary of one component. 

When it comes to managing time, with the REALIFE Process, we introduce four priorities:  Present, People, Project, and Prep.  These four priorities show up as blocks of time on our calendars and create a foundation for each week. 

• PRESENT:  blocks of time for self-care and soul-care, time when I’m “present” to and for myself, time that’s a gift (or a “present”) for me.  For me, Present blocks are exercise time, daily prayer time, my morning routine, regular chiropractor appointments, and time for reading.  For others, Present blocks might show up as mani/pedi’s, massages, or a bubble bath.

• PEOPLE:  blocks of time with the people that are important to me.  This includes family and friends, but also work colleagues or people from communities or groups to which we’re connected.  For me, these take different forms:  lunch with a friend in town, virtual coffee with a professional colleague, dinners with my husband, “cards night” with friends, and extended family get-togethers are just a few examples.

• PROJECT:  blocks of time to make progress on important projects.  (Defining projects and their action steps is whole separate component of the REALIFE Process… join me on May 17, 2023 to learn more!)  It doesn’t matter whether the project is “cleaning the garage,” “developing a new revenue stream,” or “growing spiritually,” having blocks of time for focused work is what makes the difference between wanting these things to happen and actually making them happen.

• PREP:  blocks of time for the tasks of everyday life and work – emails, phone calls, errands, calendar management.  This block is tricky!  It is a priority (because life needs to be managed), but it needs to be kept in moderation!  If I’m not careful, Prep can take over an entire day – and while I might get a lot of little things crossed off a list, I typically don’t accomplish anything important (like I do in a Project block) or feel renewed in any way (like I would with a Present or People block)

Which of those blocks are already in your calendar?  (Awesome!  That’s a great start!)

Which of these blocks would you like more of? 

Which blocks might you want to minimize?

Those three questions can get you started at living life on purpose. 

To be clear, those four blocks aren’t the only things that go on the calendar.  For instance, your “regular work” probably needs to take up some hours.  That’s fine.  Block that off.  And then think about where the other blocks can fit.  And think about what might happen in your life if you started to actually make time for those priorities.

The trick is to make sure that there IS space for the other blocks, starting with Present blocks.  If I don’t make space for regular Present blocks, it’s pretty likely that my life is going to feel “off the rails” pretty quickly.  In fact, a critical Present block that I need on my calendar is time each week (usually on Sundays) to plan my week.  I take some quiet time to review my personal mission and REALIFE View (more about that another time), and then I draft a plan for my week.  Does my week go 100% according to plan?  Never.  But at least I start the week with clarity about what’s important (for me, for others, for my projects and work)… which makes it WAY easier to know when and how to make changes as I go.  Using this process has given me a framework for stable progress, AND the flexibility to respond to unforeseen challenges or opportunities.

Lest you should think that I’ve got it all together, let me be clear:  I’m a work in progress.  Learning to manage my time well is an ongoing process for me.  It’s not always something that takes a lot of time or grueling effort, but it does take consistency and intentionality.  The good news is that I while I don’t always like consistency and routine, I have a high need for balance and productivity in my life.  When I see and feel how much more balanced and productive my weeks are because I submitted to the consistent routine of planning with purpose, I find the fuel and motivation I need to keep it up.  And when I miss a week because of … well, life or choices… I feel the difference.  And I don’t like it.  When I lose a day or part of a day because I chose a distraction over the plan, I own it.  And I limp my way back to the process, remind myself that I can do better tomorrow or next week, and I quickly get back into right rhythm with myself.

It’s about grace.  Giving myself grace to be human, asking for God’s grace to keep trying to be a better human, and seeing the grace that comes into my life when I’m intentional about Present, People, Projects and Prep. 

How about you? What grace might come to you from making even one small change to your calendar? How might being more purposeful about your calendar allow you to live out your purpose more fully?