In my last post, I shared an overture of the Enneagram personality model.  But it’s time to get real and get personal.  The truth is, I sometimes struggle with this tool because in studying it, I learned that I’m not who I thought I was. 

Or maybe it’s more accurate to say there is more to me than I realized.  As I studied the model more through Awareness to Action International, I learned nuances of the Enneagram that I’d not been introduced to before, and it changed my understanding of myself and how I engage with the world.

I mentioned in my last blog that I’m not a big fan of most Enneagram assessments.  I’m know that some are better than others, but honestly, many still get it wrong.  Partly because most assessments only seek to determine which of the 9 types a person is, and do not take into account a dimension of the Enneagram called the “instinctual domains.”  The other trouble with assessments is that they are based on our own understanding and awareness of our patterns and motivations.  Now I consider myself to have a pretty high degree of self-awareness, but I’ve learned that there are so many cognitive biases that distort our view of ourselves that it’s really easy to miss key aspects of our personalities. 

What does this mean in real life?  For me, it means that when I take an Enneagram assessment, I show up as a Type One.  Strongly.  As in, “Can’t be anything else. Off the charts in the percentile that I’m a Type One.”  So for decades, that typing was part of my self-definition.  If you know the Enneagram, you know that Type One’s seek perfection.  They tend to be productive, reliable, idealistic, ethical, and self-disciplined.  They can also be controlling, inflexible, critical of others (and self), and overly serious.  Yep, that all sounds enough like me, so that description became part of the story I believed about myself.

The problem is that this story didn’t take into account other parts of my personality and other patterns of behavior.  Like the times when I don’t have self-discipline to follow through because I get bored or the task isn’t enjoyable enough.  Like the energy I can bring when I have a chance to “perform.”  Like the fact that my productivity is often fueled by intuitive energy or excitement about creating something new.  But, I’m clearly a Type One, right?  So I non-consciously ignored, avoided, or diminished those parts that “didn’t fit.”

Until two years ago, when I studied the Enneagram with Mario Sikora and Awareness to Action International.  Mario and his colleagues introduced us to the many cognitive biases that impact our own self-awareness.  And they unpacked a side to the Enneagram that other practitioners don’t tend to emphasize as much:  Instinctual domains. 

I don’t have the space here to fully explain the instinctual domains.  (Come to Meet the Enneagram if you’d like to hear more!)  But in short, the instinctual domains describe our tendencies to value and focus on certain aspects of life more than others.  There are three overall domains, Preserving, Navigating, and Transmitting, and while we act within all of them at different times, we each have a bias or preference toward one of them.  (Some other Enneagram approaches refer to these as “instincts” and label them as self-preservation, social, and sexual.  I don’t find this language accessible or helpful.) 

Here’s where it gets tricky.  This approach to the Enneagram holds that our personality is profoundly shaped by BOTH our instinctual bias AND our primary strategy (or type).  (Which is why assessments based only on type fall woefully short.)  Sometimes the instinctual bias and type reinforce each other, and a person’s personality fully matches up with a “classic” description of a particular Enneagram type.  But other times, the instinctual bias and type function as “counter-forces,” and the person’s type is much harder to identify, especially if only typing based on lists of characteristics.

That’s what happened with me.  Through an in-depth typing interview with Mario, I was introduced to the hypothesis that I was actually a Type Seven… but a Preserving Seven, one of the subtypes that reflects some contradiction between instinctual bias and type. 

My initial reaction:  “But that can’t be!”  My Enneagram assessment scored me LOWEST on Type Seven.  This was followed by, “I CAN’T possibly be a Seven,” which was code for, “I don’t want to be a Seven.”  You see, Sevens are known for being spontaneous, fun-loving, light-hearted, and optimistic.  But they can also be seen as flighty, unfocused, restless, and impulsive.  None of that fit with my sense of self as a serious One, striving to be perfect, and it darn near threw me into a crisis of identity. 

But instead of crisis, I chose opportunity.  I chose to be open, to consider this possibility, and to try to notice the fullness of who I am and how I show up in the world.  It is a slow process, and at times a painful one, but I am indeed coming to understand myself more fully and more deeply than ever before.  Shedding my story of “I am a serious seeker of perfection” helped me embrace a wider sense of self.  I’ve found and felt more enjoyment in life and am learning that feeling pleasure and joy are good and can be relished.  I’ve also learned that I struggle with actually feeling my negative feelings – an insight that is challenging, but also brings avenues for growth.  I’m embracing the “sparkle” that I bring as a Seven.

Every person’s journey with the Enneagram is unique.  Some people will be mis-typed or struggle to identify their type, and still others will find their type relatively easily.  But “discovering type” is only the very beginning of the journey.  The real journey comes from what one does with that discovery.  Will it become “shelf-help” – something you read a bit about, laugh and cringe at yourself a little, and then set aside?  Or will it become a doorway that helps you move into the fullness of how you were created?  Will it become a tool that helps you become aware of blind spots, notice what brings you energy and life, change unhealthy patterns, and respond more effectively and authentically in the world?

There’s such depth to be discovered, and such goodness that can emerge.  This tool can help us know ourselves, and it can help us build healthier relationships with others.  My growing self-awareness is helping me step into this chapter of life as a coach, presenter, and entrepreneur with more confidence and energy.  I’ve seen a client use her self-awareness to improve her skills as a manager.  I’ve helped the team in an organization to understand their leadership styles, work preferences, and best means of collaboration.  What could it open up for you?

If you’re new to the Enneagram, or if you’re new to this approach to the Enneagram, I’d love to introduce you, and help you begin your journey.  Join us on Feb. 15, 2023 to Meet the Enneagram!