Doing December Differently
What’s the last month of the year like for you? Even setting aside all the holiday craziness and extra “to-do’s” on the list, December often feels like a rush to get stuff done before the end of the year. Finish the projects in the queue. Get a jump start on the stuff lined up for January so that I don’t start the year behind the proverbial 8-ball. And in the midst of all that, I am plagued with all the “oh yeah, I wanted to do THAT this year…” or the “oh shoot, I really meant to do that this year…” and the “I can’t believe that it’s the end of the year and I never got around to THAT this year…” If all those thoughts left physical marks, I’d be pretty black and blue with bruises.
Sadly, I suspect I’m not alone in the annual tradition of “beating myself up for all the things I didn’t do this year.” It seems to be our default setting as humans. But we don’t deserve it. I have no doubt that we’ve all done the best we can; I know I have. So let’s change the narrative and choose a different way of doing December.
Instead of measuring our progress against what we haven’t done, or what there is yet to do, let’s measure something far more important, and far more REAL: What we HAVE accomplished. Let’s look back over the past 11 months and start a “done” list (instead of yet another to-do list). Let’s be proud of all that we have done: the milestones we’ve hit, the relationships we’ve nurtured, and the ways we’ve grown.
I’m choosing to do this for myself this year. As a new business owner, I have all kinds of hopes and dreams, plans and projects. But I’m reminding myself that they can’t all be done in year one. And while I could be tempted to start that stinkin’ thinkin’ about what remains “not yet done,” I’m choosing to recognize and celebrate all that HAS happened in 2022. Last January, this business was still an idea, not a reality. It didn’t have an identity or a name. I was still struggling to figure out who I’m serving and how. (Yes, this will always be an evolving question, but it was REALLY murky at this time last year. I need to be proud of how far I’ve come!) I had only just landed my first paying coaching client – now that number is in double-digits. I’ve landed a couple of gigs as an independent contractor (facilitating, presenting) that provide some reliable income. I can look back at all the coaching I’ve done and the presentations I’ve facilitated, and I know that it’s made an impact for others. There’s more I could list but these are the biggies. Sure, there’s lots more I’d still like to do (and some things I’d wish I’d had the time to do), but what is DONE is bigger and more important than the list of what’s not done yet.
I find a similar sense of accomplishment when I think about the relationships I’ve started or nurtured this year, and the ways that I’ve grown in knowledge, skills, and spirit. I am shocked to discover how many people I interact with now that I didn’t even know a year ago! And when I review this past year, month by month, the events that often stand out to me are the times with family and the meaningful lunches, dinners, or coffee dates with special friends. As for personal growth? Wow. Just wow. It’s been really valuable for me to get specific and name the things that I’ve had the opportunity to learn and ways that I’ve grown in 2022.
Sure, there are areas (usually related to work) where I honestly wish I could have done more, but I can see how the twists and turns of life “got in the way” of productivity. I invite myself to accept that with humility and grace, knowing that sometimes “life happens” and I did the best I could given those circumstances. Even more importantly, I can see that it’s often been those “twists and turns” where the most meaningful moments have been, relationally and personally. So I embrace all of it, and savor what has been.
When I reflect on what 2022 has held – professionally, relationally, and personally – I’m filled with deep gratitude and profound amazement for the goodness and wholeness of life. And that backward glance helps to re-orient my outlook for the rest of December and the year ahead. It helps me focus on the few things that really are important for me to “finish well” this year, and it centers me as I discern the truly important projects and goals for 2023. I’m able to sort out those ideas and goals that truly align with my purpose and set aside the large (and always growing) pile of “things that could be done.”
How about you? What would open up for you if you changed your end-of-year narrative and did December differently too? Know that I’m cheering you on as you celebrate what’s done, who and how you’ve made an impact, and the person you’ve become this year!
(Big thanks to my friend, Teresa McCloy, for sharing the core of this idea with me. If you want to hear more on this topic, be sure to check out Episode 206 of The REALIFE Process Podcast with Teresa McCloy)