3 Tips to Vacation with Purpose
It's officially summer! For many of us – myself included – this means that a “summer vacation” is coming up soon. We find ourselves planning, figuring out logistics, and daydreaming about what we’ll do and how we’ll feel. But it’s truth-telling time: As much as we usually look forward to our vacation with eager anticipation, raise your hand if you’ve ever come home from a vacation thinking, “That really wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be.” (Yep, mine’s up too.)
So how will things be different this year? I’ve found that these three practices help me enter into vacation with more purpose – with more intentionality – and I thought maybe you’d like to try them too.
1. Begin with the end in mind.
I’ve found it valuable to spend a little time BEFORE my vacation thinking about what a “successful vacation” means to me. I think about how I’d like to feel when I return home, what I’d like to have done, what is important to me about the people I’ll be with or the place I’m going, and what I need in order to feel centered and happy. I think about how I need to show up during my vacation in order for that to happen. (Because, of course, the only person I can control is myself.) Then I write an “I am” statement.
An “I am” statement is simply a statement (usually just sentence or two) that describes my desired future reality (what a great vacation would be like for me) in present tense language. It’s a great way of keeping me focused on what’s most important, and it helps me choose more intentionally how to act or respond in each moment as the vacation unfolds. It also helps me set reasonable expectations for myself and others instead of holding unrealistic ideals that lead to frustration.
Here's my own example. My husband and I vacation with three other families, 13 people total, all together in one house. The location changes, and exploring those locations is interesting to me, but it’s not the highest priority of the trip. What’s important for me is that I have time to foster meaningful connections with this group as a whole, and with individuals within it. And it’s also important that I get a break from work and stay in tune with what I need during that time. So my “I am” statement is: “I am enjoying a vacation that gives me personal rest and renewal and also strengthens my friendships. I am a generous friend who helps to create great group memories and creates space for deeper one-on-one or small group conversations.”
Perhaps this statement sounds easy or obvious. However, we’ve been vacationing this way for 16 years, and I have found that for me, simply living in a house together doesn’t automatically strengthen my friendships. This statement helps me show up differently so that I can give and receive with purpose.
2. Plan for unplugging.
What do you need to do in order to disconnect from “regular life” and enter into a different way of being for a time? The reason that vacations are so special is that they are intended to be a different kind of time, with different rhythms and patterns. For me, and many others, unplugging from work – or other commitments, responsibilities, and even from other relationships – is essential in order to enter into those different rhythms. However, some of us have an easier time with this than others.
So act with purpose. Decide in advance what level of “unplugged” you need. What keeps you tethered to daily life, or prevents you from living in the moment (see # 3 below)? Maybe it’s work emails. Maybe it’s social media. Maybe it’s Candy Crush. Whatever creates distance or a barrier between you and the people and places of your vacation is what needs to be unplugged.
Then determine what you need to do in order to set that up and sustain it. Do you someone to be an accountability buddy? Do you need to delete apps on your phone? Do you need to do a quick meditation each morning to remind yourself that the world will continue to turn each day while you take a break? Make your plan, and stick to it. Being unplugged is a gift. It paves the way for tip #3.
3. Savor the present moment.
Sometimes I stink at this. I am typically a future-focused person, and I love to plan. I can get so busy thinking about what’s next on our itinerary that I miss what’s happening now. Worse, I miss who is in front of me now. (Remember my value for connections and my “I am” statement? In order to create space for deeper connections, I have to be alert to the opportunities that spontaneously come up.)
When I remind myself to be present, I find that there is often such goodness there and it brings me such deep gratitude and satisfaction. I am learning to slow, to notice, to savor.
And I’m learning to do this in good times and in bad. Because life is going to happen. Sometimes the trip itself doesn’t go exactly as anticipated. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes there’s arguments. Or we need a car repair. Or someone gets sick or injured. Or a loved one at home takes a turn for the worse. (All of these things have happened in our group on our vacations, by the way. Thankfully, not all on the same trip!) Still, when I stay in the moment, present to the people I’m with, I can find goodness, connection, and opportunities to share and receive love.
So how will you remind yourself to do this? Maybe reading this is all the awareness and reminder you need. Maybe you’ll need to wear a particular bracelet or ring that reminds you (they are easier to see on yourself than necklaces or earrings). Maybe you’ll need a short prayer or mantra to repeat when you feel yourself getting out of the moment and into your head. Before you leave for vacation, take a few minutes to decide how you’ll remind yourself to savor the present moment.
So there you have it. Three tips – with three action steps - to showing up on your vacation on purpose, with purpose.
Begin with the end in mind.
Action: Write an “I am” statement.
Plan for unplugging.
Action: Determine what needs to be unplugged and how you’ll do it.Savor the present moment.
Action: Create a reminder that helps you stay in the moment.
And your last action item: Report back to me about what worked (and what didn’t) after your vacation!! I’d love to hear your experience with these!